An anniversary

2 days ago an anniversary of sorts passed us by. It was exactly one year ago, on December 6, 2010, that we found out our baby girl is hard-of-hearing. There are certain pivotal moments in your life that remain etched in your memory as if they just happened yesterday. I can still remember sitting in a darkened room, while my tiny daughter was asleep, as the audiologist looked me in the eyes and told me that my baby couldn't hear. I don't think I will ever forget the look on her face or the sound of her voice. At that moment in time my world as I knew it imploded and my heart broke in pieces for my little girl. Even as I write this now it is hard to hold back the tears reliving those first days in our new world.

But the beauty of this story is that it doesn't end there. One year later and it is hard to feel anything but hope and joy and excitement for the future when I look at my daughter. At that time, we just didn't know what to expect on this journey that life was taking us.

Anyone with a child knows the excitement and pride that you feel when they achieve a new milestone, whatever it may be. And we had experienced many of those already with our son. But there is just something extra special and heartwarming when your child has additional challenges. Whenever our little girl uses a new sign or says a new sound or word it is like no other feeling on earth. Because last year there was a time where we didn't know if she would even be able to do those things.

I think the biggest thing that has happened over the past year is that my daughter has taught me some wonderful things about life and the human spirit. This little girl has had over 100 appointments with people talking to her, talking at her, talking about her, poking her ears, putting things in her ears, removing things from her ears and so on - you get the point. She has spent countless hours sitting in the car travelling back and forth to said appointments. And she does it all with a smile and not a peep of discontent.

She has also battled with hearing aids not working, falling out because she has grown too quickly, batteries dying and mom and dad having some moments of technological failure. There were days where we didn't think we would ever get it all sorted out and have her wearing them with any regularity. Now she wears them constantly and only takes them out when she is mad (as in she throws them at us).

Having a daughter with hearing loss has also reminded me how important it is not to judge people based on appearances. I have seen mothers looking at her as I put her hearing aids in and she crawls off to play. I can see their minds spinning with what it means to have a baby with hearing aids. I can also see them looking at her to see if that is all that is "wrong" with her. I know that she is a very bright little girl with nothing more than 2 pieces of equipment to help her hear better - but they don't always see that.

We should take the lead from our kids on this. Kids will point to her hearing aids and ask what they are. I explain that they help her to hear better and the kids will inevitably say "Ok" and get back to playing. No big deal.

I have also had the privilege of meeting so many wonderful people through this experience, some hearing, some not, some with challenges far greater than ours and it has made me realize that the world is a better place because of our differences, not in spite of them.

All in all, it has been a whirlwind year with a big learning curve for all of us. But the biggest change has been our focus. One year ago all we could think about was the fact that our daughter was hard-of-hearing and how that was (supposedly) going to change our whole lives. A year later we look at her and see a beautiful, smart, funny and affectionate little girl who happens to have hearing loss.

Here is a funny story to demonstrate exactly how things have changed. One night last week I had to go out for the evening so my husband put the kids to bed. When I got home I peeked in on them to kiss them goodnight. When I entered my daughters room I noticed a strange beeping sound. After hunting around the room for its unknown source, I finally looked over the edge of the crib and saw 2 hearing aids laying on the mattress - they were still on. Hearing aids aren't worn when you sleep, but my husband had completely forgotten that my daughter had them on and put her to sleep with them on. She had pulled them out and left them sitting on the bed. Hearing aids seemed like a very scary thing a year ago - now sometimes we forget they are even there!

Typical conversation with a 3-year old

My son: "Today at preschool they had the Lego out!"

Me: "Wow! That's awesome! Did you play with it?"

Son: "Oh yeah!"

Me: "What did you build?"

Son: "Nothing."

Me: "Then what did you do with it?"

Son: "Just played."

Me: "Well what did you play with it?"

Son: "I played with the Lego. I already told you that."

Childrens Packaging

Are there any other parents out there that share my utter disdain for the packaging that kids toys come in?! It's like the pink tea set that my baby girl is going to use as a chew toy contains state secrets it is so securely fastened to the box.

The most recent one that nearly put me over the top was the $9.99 bubble machine I bought for the backyard during the summer. It was actually attached to the container with screws! 4 screws that required a screwdriver to remove! That was after I had cut off the zap straps and tape that were also holding it in place.

I guess I just don't know what the manufacturers are worried about? Is it that someone may get hurt if the toy falls out of the box? Because if that's the case it's kind of ironic as I nearly lost an eye struggling to unscrew the aforementioned bubble machine.

Or is it to prevent shoplifting of these toys? Is a potential thief going to go for the toys that can easily fit in a pocket or bag without bulky packaging? Who knows? But if I were a shoplifter and I stole one of these toys, then had to spend 25 minutes removing it from its ultra-secure containment unit only to find that it required assembly and 4 C batteries (not included in the box) I think I would switch to stealing toothpaste and paper towels.

My two cents for what it's worth. And I now feel much better having gotten that out.

The many faces of Mom

Last night was one of those evenings where it took everything I had to survive what should have been a relatively easy night. However, as the evening progressed (and devolved) I took some time to think about the wide range of skills that women develop and utilize as mothers - which is why when society evolves enough, women will rightly rule the world.

Here are some examples from last night:

1. Being a logistics expert. Half an hour into our drive from Whistler to Vancouver my 3 year old announced he needed to have a poop NOW. I then had to find the nearest publicly accessible washroom, corral 2 children into the largest stall possible and then find a way to contain the squirming 9 month old while holding onto the 3 year old so he didn't fall into the toilet. I managed to do all that as well as minimizing the contact with the very sketchy bathroom surfaces.

2. Being a wildly entertaining comedienne/singer/talk-show host. Now poop free and on our way we only made it another half an hour before coming to a screeching halt. The highway was closed both ways because of an accident. So I sat in the hot and humid car singing silly songs, talking about the meaning of life (and poop) and finding new ways to keep everyone (including the dogs) from freaking out.

3. Being the leader of a super-efficient pit crew. Just as traffic began to move again (yippee!) my baby girl projectile vomited all over herself, her pyjamas and her car seat. Leaping into action I pulled half-way off the highway threw on the emergency blinkers and went to work. Stripped the baby, wiped her down, changed the very messy diaper, washed down the car seat, found fresh clothes, redressed her and got her back in her seat. All of this while car after car is slowing down to see what I am doing and my son is saying "Mommy, my sister threw up. I threw up once. She threw up. Did you see her throw up? Mommy, mommy," etc...... you get the point.

4. Being able to operate at the level of a super elite athlete. Finally making it home after more traffic disasters and a little boy that wouldn't stop talking long enough to fall asleep it was time to unload the truck. From the driveway, up the stairs and in the house went: one baby, one preschooler, 2 dogs, 6 bags, 1 cooler, 1 playpen, 1 bike and 2 booster seats. All of this at 11:30 at night when all I wanted to do was GO TO SLEEP!

Needless to say, we all slept well.

I long for the day...

... when showering every day is a reality, not a luxury.

...when I put food on my plate and there aren't 4 extra hands helping themselves to it until I'm left with nothing but crumbs and sticky fingerprints.

...when the washing machine, dryer and dishwasher do not combine to operate 24/7.

...when washing hands, going potty and getting into bed no longer require a crisis negotiator.

...when I can take 2 steps in my kitchen without feeling like I am walking on the beach (a Cheerio filled beach that is).

...when I can take 2 steps in my bathroom without having to wring out my socks.

...when the song that is running through my head all day is not something geared at the "under 5" crowd.

...when I don't run the risk of being mortally wounded running the gauntlet every day (aka the toy-filled stairwell and hallway).

And yet, when that day comes it means that my babies aren't babies anymore. I won't have these special days of spontaneous kisses and cuddles, silly games and childhood wonder and innocence. And so, I think, that day can wait a little bit longer :).

When they grow up....

For the most part I wanted to keep this blog fairly lighthearted, but after the inane riots in our beautiful city of Vancouver last night I have to diverge momentarily from that plan. I couldn't help wondering as I watched person after person cheer and take photos of destruction, looting and criminal behaviour - how do kids grow up to be like that?

We all work hard to teach our kids to say please and thank-you, to share with others and not put their hands down their pants in public. But I feel that sometimes these lessons are taught within an inward-focused bubble of family and friends. It is important that they form these ideas in a supportive environment, but also within the greater context of a global community.

My hope for my children is that they do grow up to be respectful, compassionate and thoughtful human beings. And that they find ways to share these traits not only with those they love and hold dear, but also with people outside of that group. I hope that they are involved in their communities, that they engage in political discourse, that they volunteer to help others less fortunate and that when they see behaviour like we saw last night they not only are appalled by it, but that they find ways to actively combat it.

Follow-up to last post....

Meant to blog on something else, but couldn't resist sharing this. After reading my last blog post, my husband decided to test my son's recollection of our discussion. So a couple of evenings ago, my husband again asks him: "Since daddy loves mommy and she married him, what should he say to her?"

To which my son replied: "Mercy."

Funny comment of the day.

We were all driving in the car one day having a discussion about getting married. I told my son that I was married to daddy because I love him. He got very upset and said "I want to marry you." We weren't sure why he was upset, but finally figured out that he thought that if you weren't married to someone then they didn't love you.

So we explained that we loved him very much and would always love him and that he didn't need to marry mommy or daddy for this to happen.

At the end of this discussion, I said to my son "I love you". Then I said "And because daddy married me I say I love you to him too. So since mommy married daddy, what should he say to me?"

My son: "Thank you."

Why another blog?

I am a full-time SAHM (stay-at-home mom) as well as a business owner. At this point in time, my son is almost 3 and my daughter is 8 months old. The combination of 2 young kids and a hectic work life (and 1 husband, 2 dogs, etc...) makes for what seems like a comical life most days. But why blog about it?

Well, I am in the wedding/event planning industry, and my business partner and I keep joking about when we are going to get our own reality tv show. We have so many crazy stories to share with the world we need it! However, in order not to go out of business it's better that we keep our opinions about all these hysterical wedding escapades to ourselves for the time being.

So, since I can't share the stories from my professional life, I thought I could share the stories from my personal life. I have another (private) blog that has been going for almost 4 years now. We created it just for our families and friends to keep up to date with photos of the kids. Simple and sweet.

This blog is different from that. This is my place to vent, express, share and generally commiserate about the wonderful world of parenting. I am not trying to change the world in any dramatic fashion - just sharing my observations and opinions.

Thank-you for joining me on this ride. At the very least I hope that it occasionally puts a smile on your face and maybe, just once in a while, touches your heart.

Lisa