An anniversary

2 days ago an anniversary of sorts passed us by. It was exactly one year ago, on December 6, 2010, that we found out our baby girl is hard-of-hearing. There are certain pivotal moments in your life that remain etched in your memory as if they just happened yesterday. I can still remember sitting in a darkened room, while my tiny daughter was asleep, as the audiologist looked me in the eyes and told me that my baby couldn't hear. I don't think I will ever forget the look on her face or the sound of her voice. At that moment in time my world as I knew it imploded and my heart broke in pieces for my little girl. Even as I write this now it is hard to hold back the tears reliving those first days in our new world.

But the beauty of this story is that it doesn't end there. One year later and it is hard to feel anything but hope and joy and excitement for the future when I look at my daughter. At that time, we just didn't know what to expect on this journey that life was taking us.

Anyone with a child knows the excitement and pride that you feel when they achieve a new milestone, whatever it may be. And we had experienced many of those already with our son. But there is just something extra special and heartwarming when your child has additional challenges. Whenever our little girl uses a new sign or says a new sound or word it is like no other feeling on earth. Because last year there was a time where we didn't know if she would even be able to do those things.

I think the biggest thing that has happened over the past year is that my daughter has taught me some wonderful things about life and the human spirit. This little girl has had over 100 appointments with people talking to her, talking at her, talking about her, poking her ears, putting things in her ears, removing things from her ears and so on - you get the point. She has spent countless hours sitting in the car travelling back and forth to said appointments. And she does it all with a smile and not a peep of discontent.

She has also battled with hearing aids not working, falling out because she has grown too quickly, batteries dying and mom and dad having some moments of technological failure. There were days where we didn't think we would ever get it all sorted out and have her wearing them with any regularity. Now she wears them constantly and only takes them out when she is mad (as in she throws them at us).

Having a daughter with hearing loss has also reminded me how important it is not to judge people based on appearances. I have seen mothers looking at her as I put her hearing aids in and she crawls off to play. I can see their minds spinning with what it means to have a baby with hearing aids. I can also see them looking at her to see if that is all that is "wrong" with her. I know that she is a very bright little girl with nothing more than 2 pieces of equipment to help her hear better - but they don't always see that.

We should take the lead from our kids on this. Kids will point to her hearing aids and ask what they are. I explain that they help her to hear better and the kids will inevitably say "Ok" and get back to playing. No big deal.

I have also had the privilege of meeting so many wonderful people through this experience, some hearing, some not, some with challenges far greater than ours and it has made me realize that the world is a better place because of our differences, not in spite of them.

All in all, it has been a whirlwind year with a big learning curve for all of us. But the biggest change has been our focus. One year ago all we could think about was the fact that our daughter was hard-of-hearing and how that was (supposedly) going to change our whole lives. A year later we look at her and see a beautiful, smart, funny and affectionate little girl who happens to have hearing loss.

Here is a funny story to demonstrate exactly how things have changed. One night last week I had to go out for the evening so my husband put the kids to bed. When I got home I peeked in on them to kiss them goodnight. When I entered my daughters room I noticed a strange beeping sound. After hunting around the room for its unknown source, I finally looked over the edge of the crib and saw 2 hearing aids laying on the mattress - they were still on. Hearing aids aren't worn when you sleep, but my husband had completely forgotten that my daughter had them on and put her to sleep with them on. She had pulled them out and left them sitting on the bed. Hearing aids seemed like a very scary thing a year ago - now sometimes we forget they are even there!